So I go out in the backyard this morning to survey the kingdom when I look up and see this little bastard oops, I mean cute, wonder of nature, clinging to the SIDE of my house under the eave of the top story. Don't let his innocent-looking furry little face fool you. I know what he's up to: Reconnaissance.
You see, my peaches are developing on the tree in the corner of the yard and from this vantage point, he can see all the way across the top to size up his points of ingress and egress. It won't be long before the sight of him sunning himself on the top of the block wall, warming his peach-laden belly with straddled legs and wearing a fruit-eating grin on his purple juice-soaked mug, finally pushes me over the edge.
I have never seen the squirrel in this place before and it's clear that he's changing tactics. That's alright, I'll just have to step up the game. I'd like to introduce to you one of the many enemy combatants who'll come out to play this year.
This incursion will not stand.